The good news is that you are here taking the first steps in revitalising your marriage. That takes courage and strength, and that is to be commended. Unfortunately, the assessment scores your marriage in the bottom 50%. Based on your responses, it is clear that there are several concerns that need to be addressed immediately in order to preserve your marriage...

Perhaps you have simply grown apart and are living separate lives. Or, you are coping with a serious breach of trust or hurtful behaviour. Either way, your marriage is not the way it used to be, and certainly not the way you envisioned.

Now, you often find yourself reminiscing about the way things used to be, or thinking about how great your marriage would be “if only”. “If only” they helped more around the house, “if only” they’d pick up their dirty clothes once in a while, “if only” they’d get up with the baby at night and let you get some sleep, “if only” they didn’t lie, “if only” they didn’t drink too much, “if only” they didn’t cheat… When the thoughts you have about your marriage revolve around hypotheticals or memories, it’s time for a closer look and quick action.

Feeling disrespected, misunderstood, or devalued can result in serious emotional harm and contributes to a negative cycle of hurt and disconnection from your spouse. When we begin to disconnect we stop communicating effectively, which is one of the quickest paths to conflict. So, not only do we lose intimacy and closeness, but conflict emerges more and more. With decreased communication, conflicts are not productively resolved, but are often left to simmer until they reappear in new arguments. As you can see, this cycle can quickly devolve into a marriage that is full of resentment, mistrust, and feelings of isolation.

At one time your relationship was beautiful and brought you joy - let's work on bringing that reality back to life, there is still hope. I highly recommend marriage counselling or coaching to help restore your relationship back to health. I invite you to connect directly with me to arrange a free consultation where I can share the ways I’ve helped couples just like you create the marriage of their dreams. When you’re ready, let’s talk.