Let’s be real – every relationship has its ups and downs.
No couple is perfect, and we all have moments where we say the wrong thing, act selfishly, or just get on each other’s nerves.
That’s normal. But what if those tough moments aren’t just moments?
What if negativity, control, or resentment have become the norm in your relationship?
That’s when things move into toxic territory.
I know “toxic relationship” sounds extreme, but it’s not just about major fights or dramatic breakups.
Toxic patterns can creep in slowly, making you feel drained, unheard, or even like you’re walking on eggshells.
And the worst part?
Many people don’t even realize they’re in one until they’re completely exhausted – emotionally, mentally, and sometimes even physically.
So how do you know if your relationship is healthy…or if you’re stuck in something toxic?
Signs Your Relationship Might Be Toxic
- You don’t feel supported
- Do you celebrate your wins together, or does it feel like your achievements are brushed off? In a healthy relationship, partners lift each other up. In a toxic one, a partner may ignore, belittle, or even resent success.
- Communication feels like a battleground
- Does every disagreement turn into a fight? Do you get hit (or respond) with sarcasm, criticism, or passive-aggressive digs instead of open, honest conversation? Toxic communication can leave you feeling unheard, defensive, or just plain exhausted.
- Jealousy and control are the norm
- A little jealousy is human, but when it turns into constant checking in, questioning every move, or dictating who you can spend time with… that’s a problem. A loving partner trusts you. A toxic one tries to control you.
- Lies, half-truths, and secrecy
- Relationships are built on trust. If a partner is constantly lying—or if you feel like you have to lie to avoid conflict—that’s a huge red flag.
- You feel disrespected or belittled
- Whether it’s little put-downs, dismissing feelings, or outright insults, feeling disrespected in a relationship is never okay. Love should make you feel safe and valued, not small and unimportant.
- Money fights are out of control
- Money can be a stressor in any relationship, but in a toxic dynamic, financial secrecy, manipulation, or reckless spending can create major resentment. A healthy couple works together toward financial goals, not against each other.
Toxic vs. Abusive: What’s the Difference?
This part is important.
A toxic relationship can be damaging, but an abusive relationship is dangerous.
Abuse isn’t just about physical violence—it can also be emotional, verbal, or financial.
If fear controls your relationship, if you’re being manipulated or made to feel worthless, please know that help is available, and you don’t have to go through it alone.
What Can You Do?
If some of these signs sound familiar, don’t panic.
Relationships can change, but only if both partners are willing to recognize the problem and do the work.
Here’s where to start:
- Acknowledge the issue
- If a partner is feeling drained, unhappy, or constantly anxious in the relationship, trust that feeling. This is not imaginary.
- Set boundaries
- Boundaries aren’t ultimatums; they’re about protecting your emotional well-being. If certain behaviours are hurting, communicate that clearly.
- Talk about it (or get help)
- Some toxic patterns can be unlearned with honest conversations, therapy, or couples coaching. But if a partner refuses to change or dismisses concerns, it may be time to reassess the health of the relationship.
Relationships aren’t meant to be perfect, but they are meant to be safe, supportive, and loving.
Recognizing toxic patterns is the first step.
The next step? Deciding what’s acceptable – and what isn’t.
Whether that means setting firmer boundaries, seeking help, or even considering separation, just know this: You deserve a relationship where both partners feel valued, respected, and truly seen.
And if you need support, you’re not alone.
I’m here to help you navigate the tough stuff so you can build a love that feels right.
